In the minority

As a full time teacher, I find time management a struggle sometimes... nay all the time.

I often find myself wondering if I am really cut out for this author lifestyle... as you can probably tell by the lack of posts - it's a struggle.

As the year draws to a close I have so many goals and ideas that I want to reach for in the year 2020.

My new poetry book is underway, and although it isn't going at the pace I would like, I have to thank God for small steps.

I call this stage of my life "in the minority"

I refer to it this way because although it may change, at the moment:

I am one of the few black female teachers at work.

I am one of the few authors of diverse books, especially across genres.

I am one of the few single people in my friendship groups.

I am one of the few people in these groups without children already, children on the way or children in the near future.

I am an only child, so I am used to being alone somewhat. But I am finding this stage to be a particular kind of loneliness. I think everyone has some kind of plan in their head of what they expect life to be like at a certain age, and there's not one thing in my life now that I can confidently say was part of the plan.

life happens whether or not you give it permission to, and it's often hard to see beauty in among all the chaos.

But what I am learning and getting better at everyday is being grateful and giving myself a break.

I don't have all the answers, and that's ok, I may not have posted on social media today or sold any books, and that's ok too. Lessons I'm teaching don't always go as expected and people rarely respond how I expect them too.

All too often things pop up along the journey that I'm just not sure I have the strength to deal with.

But yet here I am. Dealing.

So this is a reminder to myself and to you that being in the minority in whatever sense of the word doesn't mean undesirable or unwanted. It just means different and different is #Amazing.